Life on el Coucho

Back to the settee today, wearing four layers of clothes; you know it's cold when you can see your own breath condensing in front of you as you watch daytime TV. Talking of which, what's happened to '60 Minute Makeover'? I was hoping that someone would write in and surprise me with a complete overhaul chez moi; seems all my family and friends are camera-shy - Monica reckons a camera crew and 40 decorators wouldn't fit in the house anyway. Mum and Dad are enjoying temperatures of 24c in Southern Spain; they have asked if I could spice up my e-mails to them by lying about what's happening in my life. I'll tell them about my invitation to Maddie and Shana's 'Civil Partnership' ceremony, I'm sure they'll make up their own story. I have toyed with a few completely fictional ideas, the difficulty is trying to find something outrageous enough to interest but which is, at the same time, utterly believable. Since sister Sukie supplemented her student income by working as a sales assistant in an 'adult' shop, anything is believable. Post your (clean and proper) suggestions here! If the ideas are interesting enough, I might actually do them (a case of life imitating art).

Action stations

I have just returned from an overnight stay chez Bezzie and Baldie. In a bid to prevent me from working abroad again, they have mounted 'Operation Stop Penny Pitstop'. I am under orders to update my CV this week and send out speculative applications to all-and-sundry in the local area. Working abroad? Don't they know I've no intention of working at all, until the money runs out?!

Saw Mski, she's a sweetheart. Mski has decided that, at the age of 12, time is running out to get a boyfriend, since there is only one other girl in her class who has not yet had a 'boyfriend' (by which she means someone that says they like you - going out on an actual date is optional). As a single woman of a certain age, I feel I ought to have a monopoly on statements like that!